First Step to drastically change your life: GET MAD!

 

 

“To change ones life: Start immediately. Do it flamboyantly.” – William James

 

Fun time. Lets start by playing a game:

Situation: So, lets say you are going out with a guy/girl for over 4 years now. Life is alright but nothing to get all excited about. You don’t have sex as often as you used to and don’t share the same interests. You have a place together, exchange pleasantries but that is basically all it is.You are not extremely compatible but you stay because you don’t want to be alone and you have an ok routine you’re used to. You decide to stay because you know that leaving will entail being sad for a while and the hassle of looking for a new place.  You don’t wanna be inconvenienced right now. Anything beats being alone  and going through all the hassle right? So you stay. On a random tuesday night, your other half is taking a long bath. “Thank God” you are thinking,  because you have the TV all to yourself  and CSI is on. You loveeeee CSI but She/He hates it. All of a sudden, the vibration of her/his phone on the table makes you jump. “Oh it’s just her/his phone” you’re thinking. But something happens. As you glance at it, the word sex catches your eye! “sex? who would send her/him a text with the word sex in it?” You have no reasons not to trust her/him but your curiosity is stronger than your faith at that moment. So you do what any awesome person would do at that moment and grab their phone. Your heart is racing a million miles a second. So much so that you could feel your heartbeat in your throat. You just have a bad feeling. You grab the phone. Open the message and the message reads: “The sex was so great last night! Hope to see you again real soon! XXX”

 

BAM!!! and OUCH!!!

wowwwww! What just happened?! Let’s take a look here. Your whole world changes in a split second! What would you do? How  would you feel? What would be running through your mind? Would you stay calm and stay and pretend nothing ever happened?  Or would you totally snap? Would you leave or would you stay? I would imagine that this would be the tipping point in your relationship!

Let’s examine the situation for a sec: What exactly in this situation made you change the status of that relationship instantly with such a sense of urgency? What inflicted change in this situation? Was it not the OUCH effect?  Was it not the excruciating pain, anger, sadness and deception put on steroids in this situation that triggered change? Wasn’t it the emotional discharge and intensity at the root of this change?

The fact is, this piece of information sent you over the edge and made you stir up change that would otherwise would have never happened or been postponed to a later date. Why now?  The reason for such a sudden change was the intensity of painful emotions. There was a breakthrough and pain that could not be ignored or hushed following the situation.  Something big and intense pissed you off or broke you in a million pieces that could not be put under the rug. That was the leverage you needed right then and there to change right now.

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Your life now

In this example, your mundane relationship illustrates a mediocre boring life. Maybe you’ve been saying to yourself that life is not so bad. Maybe you’ve been quieting that inner whisper that tells you that life has to be more than this. Maybe you’ve been rationalizing with yourself by thinking that all people are living a life similar to yours, so it must be ok!  Or maybe you’re a step ahead and you’ve been thinking that you need to change but nothing different ever happens. You feel you need to radically change your life around because you feel stuck. You don’t know where to start and you feel like you’ve been just letting time pass you by (like 4 years in the boring relationship above). You talk to your friends or family and they all tell you that it’s normal and not to worry, this too shall pass. Maybe you’ve been seeing a  shrink once a week and been told that you are depressed and need some anti depressants. Creepy that I know that, right? Well that was me in the past, so I know exactly how you feel!

The truth will set you free. The reason you are not changing your life around right now is that there is One major component missing.

 

ANGER: EMOTIONAL INTENSITY

Maybe you’ve been saying to yourself that life is not so bad. Maybe you’ve been quieting that inner whisper that tells you that life has to be more than this. Maybe you’ve been rationalizing with yourself by thinking that all people are living a life similar to yours, so it must be ok!  Or maybe you’re a step ahead and you’ve been thinking that you need to change but nothing different ever happens. You feel you need to radically change your life around because you feel stuck. You don’t know where to start and you feel like you’ve been just letting time pass you by (like 4 years in the boring relationship above). You talk to your friends or family and they all tell you that it’s normal and not to worry, this too shall pass. Maybe you’ve been seeing a  shrink once a week and been told that you are depressed and need some anti depressants. Creepy that I know that, right? Well that was me in the past, so I know exactly how you feel!

The truth will set you free. The reason you are not changing your life around right now is that there is One major component missing.

 

ANGER: EMOTIONAL INTENSITY

If you’re looking for someone to baby you right now and tell you that what you feel is normal and keep living as you are now, sorry, not gonna happen! You’re wrong if you think I will tell you not to worry, that you are being too hard with yourself or that change will happen overtime.

I am here to tell you that until now, you have been soft my friend! Yes soft! Not fun to hear that but it’s ok you’ll live. I am here to tell you that it will not be ok!  I am here to point the finger at you and tell you that it is your fault you are not changing  and that if you do not change right now, you probably never will. I am here to tell you that change will not happen unless you do! You have to provoke change and make stuff happen instead of just waiting for things to become better by themselves! This is an illusion. You need to change things yourself and anger will help get you there. IF YOU FEEL A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE, A LITTLE PEEVED OR A LITTLE ANNOYED ON HOW YOUR LIFE IS GOING SO FAR, I AM HERE TO TELL YOU THAT IT’S NOT ENOUGH! GIVE THOSE FEELINGS S

If you’re looking for someone to baby you right now and tell you that what you feel is normal and keep living as you are now, sorry, not gonna happen! You’re wrong if you think I will tell you not to worry, that you are being too hard with yourself or that change will happen overtime.

I am here to tell you that until now, you have been soft my friend! Yes soft! Not fun to hear that but it’s ok you’ll live. I am here to tell you that it will not be ok!  I am here to point the finger at you and tell you that it is your fault you are not changing  and that if you do not change right now, you probably never will. I am here to tell you that change will not happen unless you do! You have to provoke change and make stuff happen instead of just waiting for things to become better by themselves! This is an illusion. You need to change things yourself and anger will help get you there. IF YOU FEEL A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE, A LITTLE PEEVED OR A LITTLE ANNOYED ON HOW YOUR LIFE IS GOING SO FAR, I AM HERE TO TELL YOU THAT IT’S NOT ENOUGH! GIVE THOSE FEELINGS SOME STEROIDS AND BUILD IT TO A FULL BLOWN, HUGE, POWERFUL, COLOSSAL FEELING OF ANGER!

The one and only component that will change your life is this: Get so angry that you will break up with the life you’ve been living up to now! Period! Get so angry that you say “NO MORE” to the way you’ve been living and that building a new life worthy of your being and your full potential will be the only option available. Get so mad that, like leaving a bad partner after finding out they have cheated on you, you will make change happen in an instant!

Antony Robbins says; “Change happens how fast? In a second!” Once the mind is made up to change because it will no longer tolerate anything below that, the change happens almost like magic and  becomes effortless! You can literally change virtually anything in a second but you must have a motivator to do so: Anger is the best motivator my friend! Remember a time where you were truly fed up and said no more! Maybe you were hovering in a bad relation for years but it took you a split sect be out the door! This is what I am talking about here!

 

Leverage 

Use anger as leverage. Use anger for your own benefit! LEVERAGE MY FRIEND, leverage has been used to make more money, lift things that would otherwise be impossible to lift and (you’ve guessed it) inflict radical colossal change that would otherwise might not have not happened!

According to Merriam Webster dictionary,

leverage:

 1- influence or power used to achieve a desired result

2- the increase in force gained by using a lever

And your lever here is ANGER AND VIOLENT EMOTIONAL INTENSITY AND DISCHARGE to achieve massive change (The desired result)!

 

What pushes you to change your job for example? Pressure!  A force is always there to make you act or else you would keep the status quo. Pressure can take many forms. It could exist in the form of avoidance or desire. For example, you could be looking for a new job because you hate your current boss (avoidance) or because you are looking for a higher salary (desire).

If you wanna change your life for the better, the first thing you must do is get crazy mad! So freaken mad that you will never every look back!  I am not talking about being  little mad but rather so mad like blow off this roof mad! Like pulling a fit mad. You gotta decide that you are taken your life back and do it in a huge way! Give yourself leverage and build on that pain to truly explode and go “arghhhhhhhhhhhh from now on i will be a champion!!”  I want you to get so mad that you remember that anger for the rest of your life. I want you to build on that anger with all the shit you accepted that was mediocre in your life. You need to get mad to really inflict that change your soul craves.  You need to feel that pressure of intense frustration!

 

Die while you are still  here.

what I’m suggesting here friend, is that you die while you are still here. Die while you are alive. And be born again as an individual who will live a full life full of action, adventure, boldness and love. Decide to stop fearing! Stop waiting for others to validate you! Stop taking rejections so personally! stop numbing your mind with games, tv, tabloid, gossip and the news. Stop being a robot! Stop worrying about what will likely not happen and stop living for other people’s acceptance and acceptance!!! Stop taking abuse and BS from people in your life, stop staying in toxic relationships because you are afraid, stop believing that little voice inside your head that imagines the worst and tells you that you can’t do it. JUST STOP! STOP! Find a way to find love, acceptance, validation, attention and affection within yourself! That’s a power that you can cultivate! Cross over to the other side of fear and mediocrity. Die tragically while you are still on this earth!

 

“How do I get mad?”

Ah! The million dollar question. How do you get mad? With words! Words and thoughts are power! They are filled with energy and vibrations. Stop telling yourself im a little overweight, ill hit the gym sometime but rather say: “I’m am fat! I must hit the gym right now!” I am not suggesting that you beat yourself while you don’t do anything about it! But rather, get so mad that it makes you put on your running shoes and out the door you go! Use the truth to get mad. Don’t sugar coat reality because that will ply make you stay where you are! Use the truth and use powerful words to get yourself to act act and act!

Anger will make things happen. It will make you fight and your life will change.  Choose to live a life of fire and passion, of adventure and risk. Because my friend, i will let you in on a difficult reality about your life: you are closer to death than you think! Every day of your life, you are getting closer to death. Do you understand what that means. One day you will die and death is closer to you today than it was yesterday.So why would you live a half ass life? What the hell is that decease we all share to live in the shadows and then snap out of it and get clear minded on our death beds!

Getting mad needs to be followed by action.

 

Some examples:

Remember, all roadblocks like “I have no time”, “I can’t take a vacation now” or ” I can’t” are all illusions! They are all self made so stop repeating them to yourself like a robot and see if they really make sense! Chances are, they dont!

EXAMPLE1- Your life lacks adventure. You do the same things all day long. Tell yourself: ” I AM FREAKEN DYING EVERY SECOND I AM LIVING. I AM CLOSER TO DEATH EVERY SECOND! I am living as if I am so boring and I’m not! So why the hell would I want to live like a loser watching tv and doing nothing more with my life hun?? Why would I waste the biggest gift I was given like my energy; because it was free? I declare that I will no longer be a waste of life and get to act. If I don’t change, the cost will be astronomical!!” and go register for a piano class, register for a bungie jump or start to plan a trip you’ve always wanted to do!

EXAMPLE2- You want to loose 50 pounds and you say you dont have time for the gym. Start to tell yourself ” I’ve been living like a fat cow! I am lazy! I have time to eat all the time but no time to go to the gym for half an hour? I might die earlier and my kids might get bad examples from me if I don’t change right now.” Then put on your running shoes right away and go for a walk or go register at the gym!

EXAMPLE3- You want to start your own company but you are scared. Tell yourself: ” If I don’t start today, in 10 years i’ll still be working here making the owner richer while I regret it. What if it would have worked out? All down the drain! I will be a number in a company my whole life and I might not even live another 10 years! I will set bad examples for my kids, I will be a loser in my own eyes.” and take massive action towards making it happen immediately by making a business plan.

EXAMPLE4- You never wanna be broke again:  tell yourself: “Never again will I walk around without money or unable to do the things i truly want to do! I’ve been living 100 dollars close to being a bum! What the hell! I will never make my family proud and I will never be proud of myself! ” and go buy a book to learn financial wealth or real estate investment right away.

 

Declaration;

First, you gotta make a declaration and let that pain build up you’re anger. I want you to get angry and repeat to yourself: ” I am worthy of more! I am done with being less than great! My life has value!! I am a human being Damnitttttttt and I deserve all the great things life has to offer!!!”. Declare that you will never live in mediocrity anymore. Declare that you will live your life to the fullest. Declare that you  will never put yourself down. Declare that fear will never make you freeze again! Declare every morning THAT (INSERT YOUR NAME HERE) WILL NO LONGER BE A HALF ASS VERSION OF HIMSELF/HERSELF AND IS HERE TO MAKE HIS/HER MARK IN THE WORLD) Declare that you will be all you can be! Decide that you will act on your passions and your ideas, that you will go out and experience new things, declare that you will walk out of bad relationship and never look back, declare that you will fill your mind with only the best of the best! Decide that you will no longer hide behind the truth. Decide that you will take no days off.

 

GET MAD. IF THERE’S ONE ADVICE I CAN GIVE YOU IN YOUR LIFE FRIEND, JUST ONE, IT IS TO GET SO MAD. SO MUCH SO THAT GETTING BACK TO A MEDIOCRE LIFE WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE TO YOU! AND GO AHEAD, MAKE A BEAUTIFUL DENT IN THE WORLD AND INSPIRE OTHERS to become more WITH YOUR LOVE FOR LIFE BECAUSE YOU ARE WORTHY. AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, DONT EVER LOOK BACK.

BECAUSE LIFE could be A BEAUTIFUL THING, ONLY IF YOU WANT IT TO BE.

THE CHOICE IS ULTIMATELY YOURS.

What will you choose?

So, do you think you can do it?

 

Share your experience, write a comment or email me at nadiafarag.com@gmail.com  :)

Nadia Farag

Nadia Farag

‘’ Never ever fear. Never ever stop. Never ever be forgotten. Be Bold. Be Fearless. Be Unstoppable. Be unreasonable. Be Real. Be you.’’ -Nadia Farag

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